This about sums it up. Fulham scores, Arsenal has no idea what's going on, nobody's moving. (GettyImages)

I'm fairly new to the sport of soccer as a fan -- I played for years, but only since the last World Cup have I started watching on a semi-regular basis. I'm starting to catch on, though, and starting to get more ensconced in the sport.

Even with my relatively low level of expertise and experience, though, I can tell you that Arsenal played like total shit on Saturday [1].

They met Fulham FC at Craven Cottage [2] and lost, 1-0. Last season Fulham was 8-18-12 [3], and missed relegation [4] on a tiebreaker. Essentially, they were the worst team in the Premiership that is returning this year. And they beat Arsenal, one of the few teams I'd heard of before becoming a soccer fan.

By contrast, last year Arsenal was 24-3-11. They finished third in the Premier League, behind only Manchester United and Chelsea -- the two teams that faced off in the Champions League final [5]. The only teams better in England last year were the two best teams in Europe. Suffice it to say, Fulham has no buisness whatsoever beating Arsenal. Ever.

Fulham deserves credit for the win, but I'm not going to be the one to give it to them. They did look good on the offensive side, passing the ball seemingly at will, while the Gunners [6] had a lot of trouble moving the ball due to Fulham's pressure.

A big part of that, however, was due to horrible play and bad luck on Arsenal's part. For one thing, Arsenal's offense looked like an American U-12 team at times. There were several opportunities wasted when a pass intended for Arsenal would go straight to a totally immobile Fulham defender. They weren't steals, they were giveaways, without effort. Similar things would happen on defense, when Fulham had nearly uncontested runs into the box [7] simply because Arsenal's defense wasn't moving. Honestly, they were lucky to only give up one goal.

The worst play of the game, though, was without a doubt Fulham's goal, which was not earned (despite their overall good play). They earned a corner kick in the 21st minute, and Fulham's Brede Hangeland found himself practically wide open in the 6-yard box [8] after being ignored by William Gallas, where he toe-poked the ball past a completely immobile Gael Clichy. It was probably the worst play I have ever seen in a soccer game, including my old U-6 teams in WYSA.

The bad luck came just after Hangeland's goal. About two minutes later, Arsenal was on the attack. Bacary Sagna shot a crossing pass into the box for Emmanuel Adebayor, who flicked the ball into the goal with a head shot. However, he was about six inches off, as the ball caromed off the post. Arsenal had many chances before and after, but that was their best.

Here's the best way of summing up Arsenal's craptastic day: they were so bad, Fulham subbed in Clint Dempsey. He's an American. Arsenal lost to a team that employs a former MLS player. Seriously. And he was their leading scorer last season in league play.

In short, top to bottom Arsenal played without fire and without skill, and they paid a dear price for it. Injuries have already hurt them this year, but blame can't be placed on that for this result. Hopefully, it will be a wake-up call to the team, because if not, this season could be over before it starts.

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[1] I'm an Arsenal FC fan.
[2] That's Fulham's stadium. I had to look that up. Did I mention I'm new to soccer?
[3] That's wins-losses-draws. Usually in Europe it's formatted as wins-draws-losses, but this is America, damn it.
[4] Relegation is a system in the Premier League in which the three worst teams in the league get kicked out every year. It would be like if after last year's MLB season, the (Devil) Rays, Royals and Pirates had been forced into Triple-A, essentially.
[5] The Champions League is an all-Europe club team tournament. There's no American equivalent, so I'll make one up: the MLB division winners play a tournament with the top six Japanese teams. It's the coolest thing ever.
[6] That's a nickname for Arsenal.
[7] That would be the penalty area. Box. Thing.
[8] And that would be the goal area.